I woke up way too early today and didn't quite know how to fill my time. Sundays are meant to be lazy, I realize. But, I hate having too much time on my hands. This is why I am a lover of a to do list! Keeps me accountable and on track!

 I decided to get into some Oprah Soulful Sundays and watch a few videos from a few spiritual gurus and found it a bit more inspirational that the Catholic Mass I attended this morning. I love spiritual conversation as opposed to going through the motions of routine. Everyone goes about it differently and I respect that. I am also thankful that I can choose what works for me as well.  I also did a few activities on Soul Pancake. Ever hear of it? I did the essays such as What is your Ultimate Cool?, Make Three Titles for Yourself, Write a Haiku, and What  Kind of Pie would you be?

Check it out: 

http://soulpancake.com/activities

  I write them all in my journal and even decided to post two of them just for to challenge myself. Who cares if people judge! Just put yourself out there. YOU ARE VALID!

Soul Pancake allowed me to swallow two bits of advice :
No apologies for being me and self acceptance is the key!
Thanks for helping me get to a better day, Soul Pancake!

Now I am meeting my gal pal for a boozy brunch (New Yorker's favorite especially on a beautiful day such as this!) and then headed to the Whitney Museum for the exhibits of Blues for Smoke, Jay Defeo (bring on the White Rose!!) , and American Legends: From Calder to O'Keefe (don't make it dirty...) I have never been to the Whitney Museum in my time in NYC and I think today is the day. Especially it being FREE.

'Tis the Lord's Day! So, drink his juice! (No, you can't have any of mine!)
xoxo
Her LadyMess

Ummmmmm... this is an e-mail from a friend of mine that I woke up to! Since I posted about my new love, the color champagne, I thought this would be fun to share!

Find at : Fab.com!

I replied, "I may not like to drink it, but I'll sit on cork any day!" Don't make it dirty! ;)
But, Her LadyMess woud preger to sit here. Amongst the wine corks that have made majic,memories, and let's e honest, a few mistakes. I wish I had saved all of my corks so I could make a personalized one composed of buttery Chardonnays with Jen, Malbecs with Alaina, Fuso with Blair, Bogle with my sis and Aunt C, Nobilo with Kasey, Savvy B's with Ford, and last but never least, Mesache with Aaron, Peaches, and Sheppy. CHEERS!

Find at: Fab.com

By request, Lady Wine's Day Wednesday notes will be returning! But, for today, it's Sunday! The Lord's Day. So, go drink his juice! I plan on brunching and munching with my pal, Blair. I'll let you know where:)

xoxo
Her LadyMess

I felt stuck last night. Stuck in patterns, behaviors, and general wah wah's. So, I poured a glass of Jesus Juice and got on the TED website and was FLOORED at the amount of inspiration that was available at my fingertips that I had forgotten all about. Instead of coming home and losing your in television shows that won't enrich your life's purpose, come home and turn on a PODCAST or the TED talks. Never underestimate the power of learning something new to make you feel like a better human being!

 I also began the Artist's Way Creativity Cards. When I was on the road with Wicked, we used to draw angel cards once a week that gave you something to focus on - one mindful thing a week - be in setting intentions, nourishing yourself, challenging yourself... It was always such a lovely way of breeding new behaviors. So, for my birthday, I was given the Artist's Way cards and whenever I need a little inspiration, I draw a new card.

This far, I have drawn: CHANGE and EMPOWER. Each came with a little phrase reminding me I have the power of inspiration within myself.

 What do you dow hen you feel stuck?

xoxo
HerLadyMess

Recently my book club read "The Happiness Project" and by read, I mean, I was the only one who finished the book. We decided to call our club "Booze and Books" since it seems most book clubs, like ours, really get together just to have an excuse to crack a few bottles of Jesus Juice and have some LADY TIME.

(Do you think I should implement a drinking game while reading my blog? Every time I say LADY you have to take a sip of wine?? Bwahahaha. I just hope you aren't reading my blog in the morning in that event! We'll be sending you to rehab faster that Syliva's family on Intervention! If you don't know Sylvia's work, GOOGLE IT! You're welcome!)

Though I didn't find the book incredibly inspirational, I did take away a few quotes for my journal and a few good mentalities to adapt into my every days life.

Here are some quotables that inspired my day and I hope it does the same for you!

“Happiness is how, not a what. A talent, not an object.”

                   ~Gretchen Rubin

“It is by studying the little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery, and as much happiness as possible.”

                  ~Samuel Johnson

“Action seems to follow feeling, but really acting and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.”   ~William James

“Fake it til you feel it! Act the way you want to feel.”- Gretchen Rubin

“Happiness is neither virtue no pleasure nor this thing nor that thing, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.”

               ~William Butler Yeats

“Whatever you admire in others is something that is nascent in yourself, but that you have not yet brought into being. Knowing what you admire in others is a wonderful mirror into your deepest, as yet unborn, self. “ -      Jungian Theory

Ah, the constant tug between striving and accepting. I’ve never figured this out, except to say that it seems a balance of necessary opposites. And yes it can be sad, while being busy and running out and fulfilling all things on my dreams/desires list I am not just accepting myself as is and letting me be me as is. I’m pushing myself. And yet if I don’t push myself I find I can be dissatisfied with things about me and my life. I figure there is a time for both pursuing and accepting.

             ~The Happiness Project

I know I spend a lot of time analyzing the looking into life and it's questions. What else are we here on this earth for? The thing that I come back to over and over is BALANCE. Nothing lasts forever - no human life, no fleeting feeling, or passing emotion... but what we want to hold onto is JOY. HAPPINESS. We all have different things that make us excited to live each day and I highly encourage you to find those things out for yourself and do them for YOURSELF. You don't need someone else to come and take your hand and show you how to live. You don't need a partner in crime to take yourself to that new place you have been wanting to eat at or to that french film playing at the local art house. Take yourself. Happiness comes from within us, not from outside of us and it is high time we worked on that relationship with OURSELVES. I have been on that band wagon since my 5 year relationship came to an end. The thing I wanted to learn and perfect was how to be with ME. Now, that is not to say that we can't enjoy our lady time or not go on to have a healthy relationship with another individual - human connection is KEY! I just think my happiness, as well as yours, has to stem from a love of self. So, cheers to that! To US!

xoxo
Her LadyMess

Loneliness Comes, Loneliness Goes

"Spending time with others is key when all you do is spend time alone. Trying to fill the days, the passing hours with things to engage your mind. It's depressing and exhausting. I've been searching for a purpose and I come up empty handed. Does anyone know my kind of loneliness? Would anyone understand it?" ~Journal Entry, MNC

"Will my life ever upgrade?" I feel like a constant mess...

I say that as an actor who tag teams doing shows, nannying, personal assisting just to make ends meet to stay in the city of my dreams. It's no easy feat and yet I am so proud of myself for MAKING it here. I had one of those "turn that frown upside down" moments in a coffee shop last week:

"My God, I am living the the life I have always wanted. the one I grew up journaling about : living in a big city, and doing what I love...  I'm sitting just as I wish with my journal at Gusto, a glass of Super Tuscan poured, and weighing the pros and cons of relationships and monogamy, life and happiness, and the empowerment of being a companion enough with myself.



Yes, loneliness comes, loneliness goes. Joy comes, and joy goes. Nothing lasts forever. Breathe and hold on during the waves and the ups and down because there is fresh air on the other side. It is the holding on long enough to get that breath that is the challenge.

xoxo
Her LadyMess

It couldn't be colder in NYC right now. New Yorkers are walking around in layers and layers of clothes and piling in to the warmest place they can think of. (For example, tonight I am going to a book club at Kashkaval. My favorite place in the city... Warm rustic feel and the only place girls should go to discuss "The Happiness Project...Oh, and drink the juice. Booze and Books. CUTE!) I myself haven't gotten out of my cuddle duds in days! (Cuddle duds...google them. You're welcome. You cannot feel a thing though these suckers. Yes, they are long underwear. No, they are not sexy, but I'm WARM! So there!). The freezing cold can put you in a funk for sure. The lack of vitamin D alone is a wah wah. How do you even attempt to feel stylish and fun in the city when it is THIS COLD. I did my best:

Gotta love a mustard head wrap!  I did have Bordeaux colored ear muffs that I swear my dog has stolen and hidden from me (that tricky tramp...). Oh well, my plan is to curl up with a Hot Toddy (what is that you say??

Recipe for MAGIC:
Hot Tea
Lemon Juice
2 shots of Whiskey or Bourbon
1 Tbls of Honey
Pinch of cinnamon
(Cloves option)

 Mix all of those together, crawl under a blanket and watch your favorite movies. It is the only way to combat the cold!

xoxo
Her LadyMess

A New Year of my Life and the New Journals Pages to go with it :)

Yes, I have a lot of questions on my mind before I commit to someone for the rest of my life. I think this is a lovely representation of "asking the questions"... I won't settle down "just because". I want to know that it is right and that I have found someone who is my partner/playmate/soulmate. I believe in love and in finding your best to share it all with.








One who inspires who or makes you feel inspirational...

Or that you BELONG in a place where you FEEL is home despite the miles apart from real family...

Heed the advice of Lawrence K. Fish: Let us all exhaust ourselves in the glorious pursuit of life!

xoxo
  Her LadyMess

Her favorite color

What's your favorite color? Little girls tend to say "pink" or "purple"... as a woman, I love that my favorite color is champagne. (I'm not much for the drink of bubbles, you know I love my juice! Something about the carbonation in it doesn't feel pleasing to me going down...) But, the COLOR! It took me a long time to realize it was my favorite... a beautiful blend of tan, cream, with an undertone of a grayish lavender. My love for it started slowly... my bell sleeved down coat (thank goodness for the bell sleeve and bottom ruching. Down coats can be unflattering and make you feel disgusting. But, not this gem. Thanks, GUESS! Their description said "Champagne"... then everything I bought was that same very color. So versatile. So classic. It all looked as expensive as the lady drinking her champagne cocktail in a window on Lexington Avenue :) After assessing my wares, I saw that with my wallet (Also GUESS), boots (Me in boots? SHOCKING, I know), and new Big Buddha Bag...



I was head to toe in champagne. What a beautiful LADY WAY to be described :)


With Lady Friend and fellow juice lover, Sara Sheperd.

XOXO
Her LadyMess

Valentine's Day

No Valentine? At least I have a fantastic collection of shoes!

Perhaps on this Valentine's Day where red paper bags and visions of wrapped flowers has made you feel you are lacking in some way, why don't you make a vow of love to YOURSELF. Here and now about how you can be better for YOU.
<3 Zumba, Ballroom, Dance classes
<3 French Lessons
<3 Monthly reading lists
<3 Meditation and mindful activities
<3 Lady lunches in support of the people who        deserve your time and energy.
<3 Hold YOURSELF accountable

XOXO
Her LadyMess

Birthday Bonanza

Some people get depressed at the idea of a birthday. We always looked forward to presents and parties at kids and rarely paid attention to the idea of the number. Then, as AGED, we got excited for milestones : Sweet Sixteen you can drive, Eighteen you are an adult (by law anyway), and 21 you can drink. I always wanted to be in my 30's. A time in which it seemed you had it all together, your life was set and settled, and you knew yourself inside and out. My goal growing up was to have a life like Gwyneth Paltrow. Articulate, lovely, and radiating from a heart of gold that makes her such a beautiful person. Her life has broadened since I was a teen. Now she is a wife, mother, author, foodie, and just a class act. I still want to be her when I grow up :)

I just turned 29 and have done the usual, set up an entire we of brunches and social engagements to ring in a FABULOUS year. Why celebrate a day when you can have the week? I woke up to pink roses and an edible arrangement of fresh fruits and chocolate covered bananas. Then, I had brunch at my favorite gem in this city : Kashkaval (where they presented me with a gift certificate since I am an episode of Cheers in that place... you remember that them sing: Where everybody knows your name!") I am THE regular there...I prefer to call myself the Duchess of Kashkaval. My pals and I had a bottle of Pinot Blanc, a bottle of Bodegas Mesache, and a double espresso shot. I was able to get some journaling done in the afternoon and was able to smile knowing I have made the day exactly what I wanted and needed to it be.

I sit here this morning with my coffee and typing by my vase of roses having a breakfast of fresh fruit. And I don't mean this kind:

A bit of fresh fruit and some chocolate covered bananas, and SPEAKING OF BANANAS: My cocktail celebration is at Monkey Bar! www.monkeybarnewyork.com/

A Sex and the City classic where Big and Carrie go and listen to Jazz music. It was on a restaurant week options (a glorious time to take advantage of the fancy shmancy places you could never afford otherwise!) I have my cocktail dress picked out and I am sitting with my up do and my new Kate Spade earrings on and wishing I could make the day go faster. But, what have I always said, it is about looking forward to something. Always makes for a better day.

Cheers to Her LadyMess in year 29! Let us make it a classy year of living, loving, and asking the questions.

XOXO
Her Lady Mess

Today I am bringing my gold sequined skirt out to play. Do I have any real reason to wear this bright and shiny treasure? As a matter of fact, I do. I have a closing night party for "Fiorello" at Encores City Center. I pulled my fantastic skirt out to make its debut! Why though, have I had the skirt for MONTHS and never given it the opportunity to shine? My Lady Mess challenge for you is to pull out a fantastic piece of clothing you never wear and take it to brunch. Have a mimosa or two and feel FANTASTIC in your lady business. Why wait for a special occasion? In "Alice in Wonderland" they celebrated the un-birthday. If you need that title to serve as your celebration, adapt that. Or be fun and create your own! Life has MANY reasons to celebrate. Why wait?

Paired with an off the shoulder black sweater, black opaque tights with the seam running up the back, and a black patent leather pump. Who needs a cocktail ring when I'll be holding a wine glass as my accessory? Okay, okay, I have a gold amethyst ring that will do the trick! Pictures to follow!

xoxo
Her LadyMess

Let's feel Lovely

I am constantly stopping myself from where I am at in this journey. I sit across from my dearest friends and it is our greatest challenge! Despite the ups and downs, there is no inevitable cure for the blues or perfect recipe for happiness. You have t know yourself, be good for yourself, and realize that every emotion will pass and it will come again. All we can hope is that we learn along the way and don't let those emotions pull us into a void of nothingness. Some people journal, some people take a walk,some people work out, some people plan a lady sushi lunch with wine at 2 pm on a week day because it makes the day seem like a vacation day! Implement what works for you! When it doubt, just force a smile as big as you can and I guarantee you will feel just a little better.

A little inspiration from Sara Haze:

"Lovely"

I don't wanna be her
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what give you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right

Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can't be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing
I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

Shine on, friends, shine on!
XOXO
Her LadyMess